A Hoarding Heart – By Ren Moody

This time of year I always find myself cleaning out closets, giving unused warm winter coats to those who need them, and cleaning out clothes that don’t fit my children anymore to make room for the new clothes Grandma buys them for Christmas.  As I was doing this today I found myself remembering a teaching from Hearts this fall about a Hoarding Heart.  I love this blog post by Ren Moody.  It is very honest and helps me to reflect on what I need to clean out of the closets of my heart. — Lisa Keith, Director of Lifegate Women
A Hoarding Heart — by Ren Moody
Yesterday the topic at Hearts was about the things we hoard in our own hearts.  Things we hang on to that hurt us, things that we cling to for the wrong reasons, things we maybe put before God (in other words, things we have made into idols).  What is an idol? In this case idols are things we think about, put our faith in, or  rely on more than God.
I had a problem with this very thing.  For years I had made an idol of my husband.  He was the one I depended on when things went wrong.  When there was  problem all I needed was to hear him say “don’t worry, I’ll take care of it”.  If something broke?  No problem, Brutal would fix it.  If I was upset, Brutal made it better.  When something, anything, took a turn for the worse I knew that Brutal would handle it and make it better.  If there was a difficult decision to make I knew that if I stuck with him it would all turn out alright.  He was the only man I trusted, the only one I would turn to.  If anyone else tried to step up and help, I rejected it..  It made me angry..  In my mind, no one, and I mean no one could help but Brutal.  He was the only person I could (or would) depend on.
Then I was saved and I learned that it was God who really took care of things.  It was God who made my husband as incredible as he is.  God is the one who gave Brutal the skill to do what he does, and God is the one I should turn to first.  Everyone told me that.  The Bible said so, the pastors said so, my friends said so, even Brutal said so.
I would smile, nod and say “of course I know that!” but inside I didn’t believe it.  I struggled with it and I prayed about it.  Sure I trusted God.  But I trusted Brutal more.  But then something terrible happened and without warning, we found ourselves in a bad situation. Instinctively I looked to my husband to fix it.  Knowing that his answer would be “don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it” I asked him what we were going to do.  He looked right at me and said “I don’t know”.  That shook me.  Really shook me.  So naturally, I did the only thing I could think of to do.  I panicked…for 2 days…
But now I can look back and be grateful that this terrible thing happened.  You see, there comes a time where there is nothing you can do but give it up to God.  Sometimes God has to take everything away from you, everything you always depended on in the past, before you will have no other choice but to depend on Him.  And that’s what He did for me.
Three months later that terrible thing was just a minor stumbling block.  We were back on our feet, and we are better now than we ever have been.  It was a hard lesson, but one I will never forget.  Now, because I put my trust in God first, I feel an amazing security that I never had before.  Even when big things go wrong they don’t seem so big because seriously,  what’s bigger than God?  Truly,when you have God on your side how bad can it really be?
 With God’s love and conviction, I can clean out these cluttered closets of my heart, and keep them that way.  It’s just like cleaning house… One room at a time 🙂
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